In this life we walk several paths which build our experience. Along those paths a group of lights follow us. Friends, family, the people that make us happy. As we move forward some of those lights fade. Others move away. Sometimes new ones enter the paths with us. Then there are those which vanish completely. It is a painful event. The loss of a loved family member or a friend. A light no longer with you on the way, but one that enriched your own, one way or another.

I find I am losing a light in my life. Her brightness fading away before my eyes. Where I once saw an undying kindness, I now see a tired visage at the cusp of acceptance. She knows she lies at the end of her road. Each day is filled with pain, as an unwanted darkness slowly destroys her body. It is a relentless enemy, one that spreads like a vile poison.

My thoughts turn to the past. I hold remembrance of all the good times. The things she did for me. Every lesson learned. The example of her strength in the face of adversity. That is the light that nourished my own. Although our paths continue parallel, I am painfully aware that hers is about to come to a halt. One more light fading away. It eats at my stability. Part of me is overwhelmed with sadness. Yet, another part brings the memory and the knowledge that she would want my happiness more than anything.

So I mourn. My eyes fill with bitter tears knowing she will not be in my life again. It saddens me that I cannot be there. That my own decisions pushed me away in search for a better life. Her light soon fades, but darkness will not overcome. My own light continues, nourished by another. Dear grandmother, I am pained by your ordeal. You have always cheered me on. I’m sorry your last days are spent in pain, but always know that you have my love. I reciprocate in these words what you gave me in life. Your unwavering kindness is a fine example of how I have wanted to live my life. The hidden strength of your heart and mind, a testament of your strong will, lifts mine.

Author’s Note: I wrote this with a heavy heart. My maternal grandmother is nearing her final days as she continues her fight against cancer. At 89 she still retains a surprisingly clear mind. Thankfully I was able to visit her and give her a few glimpses of my smile, despite my sorrow. Keep the people you love close.